I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
