the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
