I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
