the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
