We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
