you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
