he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
