Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They have beer where we have blood.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
