Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
