i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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