It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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