he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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