He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
