Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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