That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
