He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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