Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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