If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
