am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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