I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
