I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
