So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
