worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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