Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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