Dual....:-)
im holly from the hills drunk
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
