I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
