Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
