cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
