this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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