I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
