Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
