Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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