y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
