Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
