I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
