bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
