Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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