You're so nebulous sometimes
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
