my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
