A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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