return my video game
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
