Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My dad is sitting where you rode me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
