Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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