The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
