Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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