just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
