My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
