i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
