Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
