Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I should be sponsored by Trojan
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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