i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
